So, I'm sitting at my mom's house killing time while the plumbers are at my house for the THIRD day in a row. (oh, don't get me started.)

I was reading thru all my old LJ entries, which is something I love to do every now and then. It makes me realize that there is SO much that happens in life that seems SO important at the time.. so many people that seem like they are always gonna' be there.. that a life WITHOUT them is just unimaginable. I think this is the main reason I like to write in journals. It makes me realize that something or someone that seems SO important can be almost forgotten in time. I'm still trying to figure out if that's a good thing or not. lol..

The old clay entries make me laugh to no end.. haha. I loved the Aiken-obsessed days of my life. Looking back, it all seems kind of silly, but I wouldn't change a thing. That fandom was CRAZY, but I met some of the coolest people thru it. These people will always be in my life. They will never be among the forgotten. I STILL have a special hidden part of my heart that belongs to Mr. Aiken. Thruout life, I have always had little obsessions with bands/other famous people. Clay Aiken was the biggest.. the first one I got to actually meet and talk to.. the first one I literally FOLLOWED.. lol. A big part of my life was CONSUMED with him for awhile. It was SO fun while it lasted.

My current celebrity obsession is this hott piece of ass..

( The Glambert )

I love Adam for SO many reasons. His voice, his grace, his glam, his eccentricity, his uniqueness. His passion, and falmboyance, and his boldness. He's such a beautiful free spirit. It seems like he looks the world and all it's stereotypes and predjudices in the face and just says "fuck you!" He lives in a world of rainbows and rhinestones and SO much glitter. He SHINES. Adam is so much different than Clay, and I love him in such a more mature and grown up way.. lol. I don't want to follow him to 100 concerts in 12 different states. I don't want to fangirl over him and ask to touch his hair (which i actually did to Clay.. haha.) I want to sit down and talk to him. And get drunk with him. And listen to music with him. He's my hometown Poway boy!

( Oh, and this doesn't hurt either... )

My friends and I were lucky enough to go to the Finale Afterparty and I just wanted to share a few of our pics.

Please enjoy them, but I only ask this.. PLEASE do not steal them and post them
other places. This has happened in the past, and I used to tag them, but I am
leaving them untagged this year.

(warning: SUPER Image-heavy!)

Hope you all enjoy!



( When people run in circles it's a very very.. mad world )

Real quick-like update to say...

CA TRIP IS OFFICIAL!!!  hehe..

5/18-5/24... Idol Posse and SD people... it's PARTY TIIIIIMMMEEE!!

<3

I'm sitting at the library, and there is an old ass man sitting at the comp next to me wearing an old man sweater and shorts that are SO short that his sweater looks like a mini-dress.  He has hairy old man legs too.  HOTTT!

So, Idol.  Peace, Megan, PEACE.  This is one of the first seasons that is actually getting it right.  Since we've known for a while that the public vote doesn't REALLY matter, at least the producers and TPTB have taste this year.  It's gonna' be an Adam/Danny finale.  SO obvious.  [I'mSoExcitedToGoToThisFinaleOMGGGGG!!!11]  Can't wait to see what Adam does this coming week.  Tainted Love Manson-Style would be BEST.

Yesterday, I felt like shhhhiiiitttt.  I had a cough that wouldn't quit, an excruciating pain in my shoulder blade that was worse whenever i coughed [which was approx ALL the time], and I was on the verge of barfing all day.  Stupid BC pills.  I def. stopped taking them.  Today, I'm better.  The cough is nearing it's end, the shoulder pain is gone, and no barf-feeling.  Woohoo!

After this, I gotta' go to Target to get 3 bday presents for kids in Gage's class.  He has a bday party this saturday, a bday party next Saturday, and a bday party in 2 Sundays.  The kid is more popular than me.. lol.  I'm sure I'll spend unnecessary $$ on unnecessary stuff in Target b/c that store seems to have some elusive powers over me.. lol.  I go in for deoderant and paper towels and I come out with 2 picture frames, a tank top, a pair of pajama pants, and some delicious archer farms food.  I am trying my best to save $$ for the CA trip tho.. so hopefully I'll have some sort of self control.. lol.

I guess that's it for now.  Peeeaaaccceeee.  :]

Alrite.. I know some of my LJ peeps have mad talent.

I don't have the internet at home right now, so I can't put my skills to work and make a new layout. I think we all agree it's time to ditch the Dahlstrom. haha.

Soooo... who wants to take pity on me and make me a fabulously gorgeous layout centered around this fabulously gorgeous man??

( Holy Adam Lambert... )

First.. Idol.

ADAMADAMADAMADAMADAM!! Oh man, I'm falling in love with this guy more and more each week. At first I was split b/w Adam and Danny, and I STILL love Danny.. but Adam is stealing my heart. (How much of a NERD am I? haha..) Please GOD, let Meghan go home tonite.

I went with my bro to the Marlins spring training game today. I've been to all 3 of the Marlins/Orioles games this season. They're SO much fun. It's a great way to see a baseball game. Up close and personal. We always stand up against the fence right by where the relief pitchers sit and practice. Most of them are nobodies, but it's still neat.

When the Marlins first became a team, my fam and I went to almost every game. We were diehard fans. We went to autograph signings and card shows and we flipped out one time when we saw the players at a restaurant. the year we moved to CA, the Marlins won the World Series for the first time. I cried.. lol. During the 10 years I lived in CA, I lost track of the Marlins. I was never a Padres fan, but I kinda invested all my sports energy into football.

This season I'm getting back into the Marlins a little bit. I got a few autographs on a ball that one of the players gave me. I hope to go to a few regular season games this year. I'm also in love with the left fielder.. haha. It's a good time.

Gotta' run. I'm at mom's and she is on her way out the door. Home, shower, dinner, Idol! <3

Yess.. I'm so excited. I'm almost ready to buy my ticket. Ticket and rental car for $420.. not too bad. Cali peeps, I'm coming from May 18th-24th. The 18th, 19th, and 20th I'll be in LA for the IDOL finale and party!! Yayyy.. Posse time! It's been so long.. haha. The 21st-23rd I'll be in San Diego.. it's gonna' be awesome. I miss home.

Twilight the movie was as to be expected... cheeeesey. The director obvs doesn't read many books.. haha. Thank God Rob is HOTTTTT. The movie seemed to go so FAST.. prob cuz the book is way more in depth. I'm curious to see what they'll do with New Moon. New director, FTW!

On the homefront, drama at work. The stupid coked out barback FINALLY got fired last nite. Of course, he blamed it on me since I'm friends with the owner, so it must have been me putting ideas in Fred's head. This is a FIFTY year old man that is selling coke out of the bathroom of the bar. WINNAR! So, for the rest of my shift, I had to listen to him badmouth me and the other day bartender that talked shit about him to Fred. Finally, at the very end of the nite.. I couldn't take it anymore, and I yelled at him to GET THE FUCK OUT, OMFG!! I love working at a bar cuz it's not like having a REAL job, but the drama is worse than any other job I've ever had. Thank God I make decent cash money.. lolz.

The rest of today looks like catching up on DVRed TV and trying to finish reading Eclipse. Work from 7p-2a. Woot.

Peace.. :]

I almost forgot how to post an entry here.. haha.

Random updates.

*I live in FL and mostly, I hate it.
*I work at a bar which I love.
*Gage is 3. THREE, PEOPLE!
*I still watch American Idol religiously. [Danny and Adam, FTW!]
*I live with Gage and my sister in a little apartment. It's small, but it's MY OWN.
*I still h8 boys.. haha. My dating history reads like a long list of human crap.
*I worked at an animal hospital for 2 years and made awesome friends.
*I don't work there anymore and while I miss the people, I do NOT miss the job.
*I'm currently engrossed in the Twilight book series and I'm afraid the movie will ruin the books.
*I got in what could have been a HORRIBLE car accident on New Year's Day.
*I'm going to see Jimmy Buffett next month!!
*I am horrendous at writing updates, but that goes without saying.. lolz.
*I am literally laughing out loud b/c my LJ layout is STILL Dahlstrom.

Anyone still here and reading this? COMMENT!!
<3

So, I'm not really sure why I stopped writing. i was 7 months pregnant with Gage the last time I sat down to put my thoughts on paper. And even then, I could only come up with a picture. Granted, it was a picture that pretty much summed up my entire situation at the time. A picture that featured me and the father of my soon to be child looking rather awkward and uncomfotable as we stood and obvs. posed for the camera. "Michelle, Bobby! Look over here!" In a vague attempt to try (.. and try) to mask the distance, I placed my arm on his stomach. If he had placed his on mine, he would have felt his son kick.

The product of that pose was a picture that showed what I had been denying for 4 months. What I had known all along. What I didn't want to face. All of my faith and all of my prayers and all of my "please.. just please let him turn out to be an okay guy" had led me here. If you look in my eyes you can probably see it. You can't look in his. He's not even looking at the camera.

so, here i am. 7 months pregnant the last time i wrote. the mother of a 7 month old today.

i have sat at the computer every day of the last 10 months. wanting to say something. NEEDING to say anything. needing to tell the story of Gage's birth. to show off pictures of how he's grown from a 4 1/2 pound peanut to a chunky 19 pound BOY. to show videos of him laughing like a crazy drunk lunatic at his own reflection. to share my hopes and my inadequacies and my fears. to give LIFE to the emotions and the dreams and the fierce, all consuming LOVE i have come to learn in just a few short months.

so, maybe i'll start writing again. maybe it won't be another 10 months and i won't be writing while trying to dodge the projectile toys thrown by a 17 month old. maybe i'll tell my stories little by little.

and even though i'm still a little bit of this girl, I am SO much more of this one.

Last nite was the Halloween Party/Costume contest at the bar. Fun times. Of course.. I bring pics.

( I'm feelin' like a monday but someday I'll be Saturday nite! )

In 12 weeks I'm gonna' have a baby.

( His name is Gage )

He has 10 fingers and 10 toes.

( Apparently, he likes to hide behind them. )

He is most DEFINITELY a boy..

( .. see? )

He's a baby.. a REAL baby. And he's MINE.

( My son.. )

In 26 years I have never seen anything more beautiful..

( I can't wait to meet you little dude.. )

blahblah pics blahblah from the bar..

just look.. lol.

( there's no saturday nite without you )

New digicam!!

Oh MAN, am I ever gonna' be dangerous with this thing.

I was messin' around with it today and the result is the first of what will probably be many photo essays courtesey of yours truely. C'mon.. who DOESN'T want to see pics of my room anyway!? In 3 months, nobody is ever gonna' see pics of anything except my kid.. so take what you can get now.. haha.

( This would be my room.. )

I swear.. stores should NOT send me coupons in the mail. Especially stores that sell tiny adorable wee little baby clothes. Especially when said coupons arrive the week before i get my first paycheck.

Nonetheless The Children's Place sent me a coupon for $10 off any $30 or more purchase. So, naturally.. I just HAD to go b/c if I don't go before the 12th, this free $10 is just gonna' go to waste thus ending the world.

I KNOW you all are DYING to see what the world's CUTEST baby is gonna' be rockin' in a few months.. so who am i to dissapoint?

( My kid WILL be > life )

Bar tonite with Jenny! Have I told anyone lately how old it's getting NOT drinking? lol.. 5 more months and counting!!!

Baby updates first -

1. I'm 99% sure that his name's gonna' be Gage Lennon Carver-Isaacson so he will hereafter be known as Baby Gage/Baby G.

2. I'm pretty sure he's moved up to where he's gonna' stay for the next 15 or 16 weeks. What does that mean? Pretty much nothing except for A) I now LOOK like a pregnant chick, B) my waist has dissapeared (did I REALLY have that much of a waist in the first place?), and C) all of my real clothes don't fit and have been shoved in the back of the closet and replaced with clothes that real pregnant people must wear.

3. Baby G actually kicks and moves and does little somersaults and whatever else little babies do in there. It's nothing that anyone else but me can actually feel yet, but I've heard that once you can feel it on the outside, it also starts to hurt and babies start kicking vital organs such as ribs and bladders. I think I can wait for that.

4. His collection of belongings is growing. His closet now consists of a pack and play, a travel swing, 2 baby-themed picture frames (b/c don't be ridiculous - there's gonna' be more pictures of this kid than anyone in the history of ever), 2 framed John Lennon nursery prints, and 2 HUGE rubbermaid containers FULL of clothes, blankets, towels, and socks. For at LEAST the first 6 months of his life, he's never gonna' have to wear the same thing twice.

5. Baby shower is in October. You are all invited.

New job update -

I'm gonna' be a checker at Vons. apparently being a checker is like, the position directly under being a supervisor. Woo hoo. Training starts Monday. I have to memorize like, FIFTY 4 digit fruit and vegetable codes. Some of the codes correspond to fruits and vegetables that I A) have never heard of and B) have no idea what they look like. Fun times.

Having money again will be fun. Spending it all on diapers will NOT be.

excitedexcitedexcited!

and yes, that is in fact his penis. I totally can't wait to show this picture to him when he's like, 16.

more adorable pics of him...

( ... over here! )

And just in case anyone wants to spoil him..

I'm a tiny baby. Buy me something nice.

Every once in a while I miss this boy.

But only when he looked like this.

( now it's all that i can do to see photographs of you )

New roll of film = new post! imagine that.. :)

( These pictures are my diary.. screamin' out loud )

warning: unless you want to see my FAT ass (okay, by ass.. i mean tummy), do not go any further. do not say you have not been warned.. lol.

( reason #453654 for you never to get pregnant )

I think that my baby shall have no name.

Behold the evergrowing, neverending list of baby names i have compiled.

Please note that I have not run ANY of these names by Bobby, and that he will probably hate ALL of them causing me once again to belive that my baby will have NO NAME!!

( boys )

( girls )

ANY suggestions/opinions much appreciated.

oh, and if ANYONE who randomly finds and reads this journal just so happens to be pregnant, heed this warning. Steal my names and DIE. ;)